"It’s like you’re screaming but no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it’s over and it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you can have the good."
It feels better confiding in someone far away than people around me.
#HPP #balanced #cool
66 days of happiness, joy, and love.
Goodbye, dear. X
Most of us live our lives trying to find comfort and joy in other people.
I plan to live mine in a way that I don’t need to depend
on someone else, to determine my own happiness.
That to find someone to stay by my side is not the main destination
but something I pick up in the middle of the road with me on my journey.
And one day, your name didn’t make me smile anymore.(via clavvmarks)
Hello my love. I want you to sit back, relax and enjoy this extremely long post. I know you have been getting it for the past 2 days now, and this would seem like another one. But, this is really gonna be one long-ass post. Don’t get bored after a while okay?
So, I saw your tweet, “Should I be sad that you’re my best friend and you didn’t wish me for my birthday or?” And I felt strange because I did wish you but you hadn’t replied me. Turns out, I typed the message but silly me, I didn’t hit the send button. So, as an apology I am gonna type my message here. Honestly, I feel so damn dumb to not check. And, I even thought that you’d be busy replying your other messages that you forgot mine. (Yes, I think a lot and i feel so silly.) So, anyways here it goes.
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, my dear princess. It has been 3 great years knowing you and becoming your friend. I had enjoyed every moment with you. All the good, bad and ugly. I never regretted knowing you. Not even one second. During these 3 years, I have watched you grow. From a really rowdy girl(don’t hate on me) to a beautiful young lady, who deserves the whole wide world.
We had our difference and we still do. We argue on trivial things and sometimes, it can go out of hand. But I want you to know that I love you, my beautiful girl. No matter how much and sometimes, I feel like pulling your hair and all. But I still love you. I remember that one incident particularly, in Bundung.The fact that we argued so bad and we both had cried. We made up over pizza, remember? And even though we argued pretty badly, I thought that I had lost you forever. It was a mere one or two hours, but I still felt like crap. If this is how I would feel if I lose you, I don’t ever want to lose you again. So, I’ll compromise. Because if you love someone, even if they are your friends, you would compromise everything you’ve got to offer right? And so, I would compromise in all my belongings for you to be happy.
Thank you for being there for me at times when I’m at my lowest. I know I do not seem to be sad in school, except angry but still. You have never failed to make me smile even when I was down. You’re such a joy to be with, Monisha. Really. I don’t find myself being sad, angry or any negative emotions whenever I’m around you. That’s how much of a positive energy and vibe you bring to people around you. You’re so funny too. Even your laughter. It is honestly a lullaby to my ears and I want you to smile and laugh like you never had. It feels amazing to have a friend like you in my life. You make life worth living; in fact, you make everyday worth looking forward to. Thank you, my dear love. I look forward to coming school because we spend time with each other during recesses and I honestly, enjoy your company.
Your love story; I wonder how are you and Dhanan. I hope he is treating you well. I have seen you shed tears, and bawl your eyes for him. I know he is the world to you. I honestly love how you two are still messaging each other and even though you guys are on a rocky rock right now, you both still manage to go out on dates and all. IT IS SO SWEET LA PLEASE. I know you guys have been together for 38 months and 3 days now. You never had stopped and never will stop loving him. Because that’s who you are. When you love, you truly love. And I admire you for that. Really. You both have gone through plenty of ups and downs. But, I don’t want you to stop trying. Even if he does. It’s true, that it is not the number of days you guys have been together but the fact that you felt like a princess with him that matters. But, I want you to never give up. I know sometimes you’re like, “never mind la, i give up” BUT WOMAN, I know you all too well. When times get hard, you know that you should fight harder right? So, my love. Don’t give up. I want you to seize every moment you have with DJ and don’t you ever squander it. Because, you never know when it all could be over tomorrow. So, keep fighting for the love you have for him. I know he can be a d*ck head, sometimes. But, he’s a guy la. So, it’s the norm for them to be like that, (their nature). Hopefully when he serves the nation and he comes out, he’ll grow as a person. I cannot wait for the day he spends time with us! We never really hung out with him and this, my friend is not fair. But, I wish you both all the best in your relationship. Always had and will admire the time and love you have for him. It’s so scary because you love him so much that you’re willing to fight all the battles in the world, just to be with him. I have watched you grow more as a person, when you have been with him. It’s so cute. You’re becoming more of a lady and you’re so nice. I love you.
Now that you’re 17. What are your plans for the year? I want you to make a list of all the things you want to accomplish, the same time next year you would have done all of it. Maybe now that you’re 17, you won’t feel so much of a change as compared to last year. But, you will definitely feel like you have grown. At least, I have. I want you to cast your worries aside and persist on for O’ levels. 17 years old, this is our year. We will definitely do extremely well, and excel in everything we do. It seems like it is going to be forever till we have our freedom, but fret not my child. Our time will come. And we will make the most of it. I can assure you that.
This time, next year will be so different. We’ll probably celebrate your birthday in club! :P But, I want us to be as close as ever. All 6 of us, would still be like how we are now. Maybe we’ll all go to different schools, but I know you will never let us part our ways. Different schools or not, I always believe that you’ll be the one who binds us together. That one person who ties us back even after we are all scattered. I don’t want anything to change. Between all 6 of us. I’d realized that during this time, everything will be different next year. I hope nothing changes though. I want to stand on the podium along with the other 4 girls, talking about the best times we had in secondary school, in your wedding. With DJ.
So, I’d like to end this off with a note of apology and a sincere thank you. I’m sorry that I forgot to hit the “send” button. I will make it up to you, Promise. And, thank you for everything; your existence in my life, having a wonderful personality and a great friend. You are amazing. I hope you don’t get bored after reading this far. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow. Really. I’m sorry love. Happy 17th Birthday, once again. I love you, princess. Til death do us apart.